Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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