it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize