so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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