the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
