Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
