we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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