I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
