I got chris browned last night
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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