Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
