We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
