Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
