Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize