using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize