I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
barbara walters just said penis...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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