I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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