i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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