It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
