Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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