I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He did a backflip because drugs
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
