i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
