he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
