Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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