There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I believe in your delicious
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize