so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
