Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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