Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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