I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
