"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
