I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
MIDGETS
????
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
