I faked an abortion last night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
