so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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