oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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