just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize