apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You ate ashes out of my bong
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
