they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
