A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
