My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
