Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
