White coat. Heels.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize