I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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