3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
