You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
