in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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