Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
