Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
is it fun? or sober?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
