I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
