Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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