I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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