He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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