Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
