Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
