No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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