i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
