i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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