he wants to bone in the snuggie
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
