who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
