I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
