Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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