I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize