JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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