Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
