Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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