Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
